17. Remember that the best relationship is one in  which your love for each other exceeds your need  for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in  order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Do not keep this message. The mantra must leave your hands...

"Come Sail Away..., on The South Bank!!!"

----- Original Message -----

To: hiv-aids-support@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Sunday, February 09, 2003 10:37 PM

Subject: Re: [hiv-aids-support] What Do We Do!?!

 

Amen! As a gay man who has AIDS, I thank you. Yes, when this disease came to light it seemed to only strike in a segment of the community that many wish would go away. Sadly, it did not stay in that group for long. It spread to other groups. At first the new cases were also in "undesirable" segments of the population. It did not stop there. Now there is no part of humanity that is truly "safe" from this disease.

Unfortunately many victims from the first group seem to feel that they NEED AIDS in order to be recognized. They feel that since the disease has branched out into the whole population, they have lost some of their visibility. I am not immune to this. The first time I met a straight woman with the disease at a local ASO I asked her what in the hell she was doing at OUR organization. Now the ratio of straight to gay has grown even more and the system is being overloaded. When are the blind fools in the gay community going to wake up and realize that this is not THEIR disease? Perhaps if they do and put the energy they put into this in the 1980's, they can get the recognition they want, but for the right reason.

 

Okay, now before you all start throwing darts at me remember, I am a gay male and a part of the group that seems to be whining more about this disease than the others. To the whiners: Shut up and do something about it!

 

Bill steps off the soap box.

Take care

 

----- Original Message -----

To: hiv-aids-support@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Saturday, February 08, 2003 10:31 PM

Subject: Re: [hiv-aids-support] What Do We Do!?!

A very interesting and enlightening experience.  I am very glad you posted.  I have stated before I have many concerns regarding the public perception of gays and HIV. (Jeanne slips into her flameproof body condom (courtesy of Michael))
I will take this opportunity to remind folks, especially new ones, that I am a straight, (mutt) lol, white woman who does not have HIV.  So why am I here?  
I have been involved with PLWA since the early '80s.  Beginning with watching my gay friends getting very very sick and some who just "dropped dead" no long hospital stay, just gone.  Volunteered and did what I could. FF to 1990.  The area I live in is beautiful, gorgreous scenery, sparsely populated  frontier country and there are some of the nicest people you could ever meet.  But there are also a few very loud, and of very low intelligence who have the basic "homo" mentality.  And they insist on babbling loudly and often usually exacerbated by consumption of a 12 pack of brewskies.
 By 1995 it was clear the area desperately needed an organization to provide education 101 and support to PLWA and their loved ones. So I "officially" founded the organization, applied for and received IRS 501 (c) 3 status.  Since we survive by donations - no government monies or grants many times the volunteers have pitched in to help get people a decent place to stay or paid power bills etc.  It may be written PLWA comes under the ADA laws but nothing happens fast.  What else could we do?  Of course I have written grants but our primary target group is white frontier kids and young adults.  I'll spare you my efforts but we are still here, still need money but I am proud of  our reputation.  
It was clear the whole community had to be desensitized to the mere words "HIV" "AIDS" and the supposition that HIV was only a problem for "bad" people (read gay men).  We tried so hard for so long to get the general community to accept HIV........nor "label" it....we may have gone too far.  
   I don't know quite how to say this so as not to offend, as it must be said.  There were in the '80s huge numbers of gay men who began to realize HIV, whether they had the name or not, that  they (gay men) seemed to be the only people getting sick.  No one seemed to care very much and most of the people were living in large populated areas. It became obvious that this was a "new" disease and the CDC began to investigate why otherwise healthy young men would die so quickly.  In the true spirit of such an organization a statement was issued proclaiming they (the CDC) would have the problem under control in two years.  Just a virus after all.  To be fair I don't think anyone knew the scope of the virus or had any inclinations to believe it would spread to every population on earth.
  In the mean time AIDS victims were dying on a dramatic scale.  Towns and cities tried to devise ways of stopping  the illness.  At the same time there was a growing number of gay men who felt they were ignored, because they were gay.  Many fought long and hard to be noticed.  Laws were passed quickly to shut down the bath houses and similar areas as a way to stop the spread of new cases. It had virtually no effect.  As a result the gay community felt abandoned and clung to each other because there was no one else.  They became the "elite" of the HIV world.  As the virus spread to the straight/general population, there was some hostility from the gay community as they felt others were trying to garner more attention.  I understand wanting to remain in the spotlight because that was how you achieved results, however the "elitist" aura impacted the straight population and created some hard feelings.
   Gay men had worked so hard and long for exceptance they did not want to "share" HIV with any other group.  And organizations like mine kept reminding the public that it wasn't just a "gay" disease.  We did so because others were at risk and to get into people's narrow little mind that they should stop hating the "homos" because they are just like everyone else.  In the process I believe we (I) may have promoted HIV as not that big a deal.  Unintentional of course.  We wanted the hate to end, the fear to stop. It did not occur to us that there would be any resistance with gay men.  After all we are in this together!  A backlash hit the "rest" of the HIV community.....some gay men proclaimed it was not fair and they were being overlooked.  I have no doubt many gay men felt this way because that was their experience.  But it reached a point that I had quite a few angry gay men who felt like I was using their efforts for my advantage. My explanation of wanting to help was often greeted with scorn. Some felt it was hard to accept that I simply care and want to help!  I wanted to bring everyone together in this battle, to work together in passion and compassion. And don't tell me it can't be done.  Bullshit! As I have written before - we are going to have to save ourselves.  We, the people cannot wait for Big Brother to save us!  Thus the question "What do we do?"
Everyone has to drop their personal agendas and focus solely on the major issues of housing and medications.  The basics. The meds. Staying alive and as healthily as possible. We cannot afford the luxury of  being separatists!  You can't legislate morality.  You have to cultivate it!  
   I was not exaggerating about the two years of data I have and as I sift through and find definitive "markers"   there is a sizable number of gay men who want to become HIV.  They believe that you take pills and visit the doctor , so what's the big deal? We have to know how many and is this just one population?  Does the same thing happen with other minorities A lot of guys write me to find out where to GET HIV.  Makes me want to beat some sense into them.  They don't respond to logic or knowledge.......only to the siren's song which leads straight to death.
   We must cast aside petty differences.....even such things as religion and culture.  I know many people will say that is a HUGE obstacle but it really isn't.  No one will be forced to do or act in anyway, I am talking about reasoned adults making choices.  Self discipline, compromise and above all love.  We can make the necessary changes. And we are going to have to work on it - this won't be resolved easily or quickly.
Jeanne

bulldawg wrote:

After reading the article from POZ magazine I'm fully convinced that
the gay community has it's head shoved so far up it's ass at times. I
think this was an irresponsible piece of journalism and let me explain
why I do. It isn't that I don't think issues like this (and the one in
Rolling Stone magazine) don't need to be discussed, but I would prefer
that people did so in a more private forum.

Let me tell you about a couple of incidents that have happened here
recently.

I have a friend, let's call him Bob, and he gets about $330/month for
SSI. Then he receives his Section 8 housing benefit from the city for
another $300/month. He utilizes the Texas ADAP for his medications but
they only allot a person 3 or 4 drugs per month (depending on funding
for the year) and the last thing he receives is $38/month in food
stamps. Each year there is a slight cost of living increase with SSI,
so he gets about $10 extra for his monthly pay from the State. However,
the city offsets this by lowering the amount of money he will receive
in his food stamps, so this year he has been dropped to $28/month. His
rent is $400/month so $100 of his SSI has to go to pay rent. That just
leaves $230/month to pay for any extra medications which might exceed
his limit from ADAP (antibiotics for instance), utilities, clothing,
and food not paid for by the food stamp program.

If he tries to go back to work, even part-time he loses everything.
Some people are thinking that might not be so bad as he could probably
make more by holding down a real job, and he probably could...but since
he has a pre-existing condition, if health insurance is even offered,
you must be healthy for two years before coverage even kicks in. Then
he would have to pay for his medical expenses and prescriptions out of
pocket. The cost of these things would far exceed what he would be able
to make, so he stays on disability. And like most people is forced to
work part-time under the table just so he has enough money to survive
on, all the time hoping not to get caught.

Now recently we were out having coffee, my treat since he doesn't even
have money for that (we do have what most of the gays here refer to as
the "poor-man's" coffee shop LOL...$0.75 for the first cup $0.25 for
refills and it is any flavor of coffee you want as long as you want
regular coffee LOL). We were sitting at a table with some of our
longtime ACTUP buddies and noticed that a guy at the next table had
been listening in. So my friend Bob approaches him and boldly asks him
if he is finding our conversation interesting. In all actuality the man
actuality the man wants to join in the conversation. He wants to
confront us as a group since we are all gay and have HIV.

The guy moves over to our table and says he completely understands why
it would be so appealing for guys to want to become HIV as revealed in
the Rolling Stone magazine article. It's because they can collect
insurance money and have everything in their lives paid for while they
sit on their asses at home. He was under the impression that everyone
collects large salaries and there was no differentiation made between
private insurance that some people have and what the government
provides for. To him it was all one and the same. The man makes about
$45K a year and doesn't think his tax dollars should be paying to
support things like the ADAP program when the only people using it are
sitting at home, going to the gym, and collecting paychecks almost
double what he makes.

When asked where he got his information from he answered that he got it
from the magazines typically left sitting on the rack in the coffee
shop.  My thinking on this. If this man thinks this, and this is one
individual. What are the right-wingers in the government thinking. It
is all they need to add fuel to the fire to decrease funding or do away
with it altogether. It makes all that time in ACTUP seem like a wasted
effort.

This guy's thinking was wrong on so many levels, but one of my friends
at the table was bound to set him straight. To no avail though, the
guy's belief is that unless it is in print then it must not be true.
Why would a magazine which is supposed to be practicing the policy of
unbiased truthful journalism lie about such things.

It isn't that there aren't people who collect large sums of money, but
for most of us, we only collect from the government. I know that I am
luckier than most people I know as my coverage comes from the military.
But I know people who are in far worse situations and have to subsist
on incomes even less than Bob's. It's a sad day when somebody writes an
article to expose an injustice in the world and it is applied to a
group of people as a whole.

Just my thoughts.
Doug in Houston

Dr Seuss 2003

The Whos down in Whoville liked this country a lot,
But the Grinch in the White House most certainly did not.
He didn't arrive there by the will of the Whos,
But stole the election that he really did lose.
Vowed to "rule from the middle," then installed his regime.
(Did this really happen or is it just a bad dream?)

He didn't listen to voters, just his friends he was pleasin'
Now, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be his heart wasn't working just right.
It could be, perhaps, that he wasn't too bright.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
Is that both brain and heart were two sizes too small.
In times of great turmoil, this was bad news,
To have a government that ignores its Whos.

But the Whos shrugged their shoulders, went on with their work,
Their duties as citizens so casually did shirk.
They shopped at the mall and watched their T. V.
They drove their gas guzzling big S. U. V.
Oblivious to what was going on in D. C.
Ignoring the threats to democracy.

They read the same papers that ran the same leads,
Reporting what only served corporate needs.
(For the policies affecting the lives of all nations
Were made by the giant U. S. Corporations.)
Big business grew fatter, fed by its own greed,
And by people who shopped for the things they didn't need.

But amidst all the apathy came signs of unrest,
The Whos came to see we were fouling our nest.
And the people who cared for the ideals of this nation
Began to discuss and exchange information.
The things they couldn't read in the corporate-owned news
Of FTAA meetings and CIA coups.
Of drilling for oil and restricting rights.
They published some books, created Websites
Began to write letters and use their e-mail
(Though Homeland Security might send them to jail!)

What began as a whisper soon grew to a roar,
These things going on they could no longer ignore.
They started to rise up and fight City Hall
Let their voices be heard, they rose to the call,
To vote, to petition, to gather, dissent,
To question the policies of the "President."

As greed gained in power and power knew no shame
The Whos came together, sang "Not in our name!"
One by one from their sleep and their slumber they woke
The old and the young, all kinds of folk,
The black, brown and white, the gay, BI- and straight,
All united to sing, "Feed our hope, not our hate!
Stop stockpiling weapons and aiming for war!
Stop feeding the rich, start feeding the poor!
Stop storming the deserts to fuel SUV's!
Stop telling us lies on the mainstream T. V.'s!
Stop treating our children as a market to sack!
Stop feeding them Barney, Barbie and Big Mac!
Stop trying to addict them to lifelong consuming,
In a time when severe global warming is looming!
Stop sanctions that are killing the kids in Iraq!
Start dealing with ours that are strung out on crack!"

A mighty sound started to rise and to grow,
"The old way of thinking simply must go!
Enough of God versus Allah, Muslim vs. Jew
With what lies ahead, it simply won't do.
No American dream that cares only for wealth
Ignoring the need for community health.
The rivers and forests are demanding their pay,
If we're to survive, we must walk a new way.
No more excessive and mindless consumption
Let's sharpen our minds and garner our gumption.
For the ideas are simple, but the practice is hard,
And not to be won by a poem on a card.
It needs the ideas and the acts of each Who,
So let's get together and plan what to do!"

And so they all gathered from all 'round the Earth
And from it all came a miraculous birth.
The hearts and the minds of the Whos they did grow,
Three sizes to fit what they felt and they know.
While the Grinches they shrank from their hate and their greed,
Bearing the weight of their every foul deed.

From that day onward the standard of wealth,
Was whatever fed the Whos spiritual health.
They gathered together to revel and feast,
For although our story pits Grinches 'gainst Whos,
The true battle lies in what we daily choose.
For inside each Grinch is a tiny small Who,
And inside each Who is a tiny Grinch too.
One thrives on love and one thrives on greed.
Who will win out? It depends who you feed!

By Author Unknown

Greetings!

As you may recall, I had my 10 year tune-up from the folks at University-Holmes Hospital and the Infectious Disease Clinic (formerly know as THE AIDS>>>>Clinic).  I'm glad to report that I'm as well as anyone could hope for at this point, that I could probably hang around another 10 years or so and there appears to be no major modifications in my therapy foreseen for the moment.  I told the Doctors that while I was glad to hear that, I wasn't sure I was still ready to go ten MORE ROUNDS/Years.  However, I told 'em that I would be HAPPY to hang around for the BIGGEST 50th BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER!!!  This Sunday, "Counting Our Blessings: A Winter Walk In The Woods" will be the last event of "My Millennium Odyssey; New Year's 1999-New Year's 2001".