"The Cap'ns Log":

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

4/18/99: I think I'm starting to get the hang of this home page thing!  As I explained to Kevin when he was here at Easter:  One of the major reasons I joined The Brothers was to go to college.  It was very important to me to get a "higher" education, especially to make mother proud and happy!  On her side of the family, all of my uncles have degrees as do their spouses and many of my cousins.  My fathers view on college was; "I didn't even graduate from High School and I'm doin' allright.  Own my own business, put all you kids through parochial schools, have a pretty damn nice house....  It was good enough for me so it'll have to be good enough for you."  That was in response to not wanting to fill out any forms for financial assistance because the government had no business knowing what he made!  Hhmm... could it be that there were two sets of books?  The set in his head (The exaggerated, better off than real and Proud one) and the one on paper (Which was the real deal and quite probably would have qualified me for financial aid - which because of the Pride thing no one should know that).  Now that's The Connett side of the family!!  (N.B.: Usually when I write; family can be construed as my biological nuclear unit, whereas "Family" refers to those who ARE!!!  Blanche!)

And that isn't necessarily bad...  I have the same two sets!  The one in my mind fueled by my dreams and the reality on paper.

My "Father" ran a tight ship; by-passing High School and plunging straight into the Korean War(That's the "M.A.S.H." era...), he was Definitely the 'HeadMaster' in my school of "Hard Knocks"  But I MADE IT THROUGH THE RAIN(Kudos to Barry Manilow!) - and I mean a full Blown Monsoon, and have lived to tell...  I LOVE & RESPECT My Mom & Dad as well as the rest of my "Family"!  As my good friend - The Chief Operating Guardian Angel: "Ms. Oprah!" said on a recent show:

4/20/99: Thoughts for the Day/Things To Do:
"Sticks & Stones..." - I was thinking about names - nicknames - labels - stereotypes... triggered by the fact that I realized many of my "Family" know me by different names... not all of them are good or flattering depending on how it is used.  For instance, Todd(now in San Diego) & others call me "Mikey" - to which I will leave you to your own double-entendre.  Actually, frosted flakes are my favorite cereal!  Anyway; I remembered when the guys at Newport Catholic started talking... (Remember: "The only thing worse than People talking about you, is People NOT talking about you!")

Usually, when you hear the word 'HomoSexual' it is used in a rather technical/clinical/non-threatening way unless it has been uttered by a Republican, Religious Radical or Redneck.  Shorten it (Homo...), Bloody/Hate-filled SCREAM IT or use it in a Threatening Way and it quickly becomes a "Fighting Word" that may easily elevate a confrontation to the level of a "Hate-Crime".  This is not a special Right, it is an "Equal Right".  It is what "WE THE PEOPLE..." have believed in and fought for from the day this Country was founded.  In order to form a more perfect union; we stated and swore that ALL men were created EQUAL, that we all have a CREATOR and that we are all ENDOWED with certain INALIENABLE RIGHTS...
Please NOTICE that, NOWHERE in that statement do the words "EXCEPT FOR..." APPEAR!!!

To get back to the story...
One of the quips I heard in High School was a take-off on the term.  A classmate of mine called me a 'HomoSensual', later shortened to 'Sensuous' and then to 'Sense'.  Somewhere I've heard or read something about "The Queens Vernacular" (which can be briefly defined as gay slang) and in combination with the empowerment strategy of taking back a word, I had this thought:  That's really a pretty good way to look at things.  For example, for people who really need a label - nickname - stereotype, etc. to refer to someone with; As a 'HomoSexual', I wouldn't mind being remembered as a:

4/23/99: This morning I made some revisions to my "HOME" Page...added this page and a Caution Disclaimer.

4/27/99: Many New Developments since my last entry; briefly:

• All my accounts/assets/checking titles have been changed to: Michael W. Connett  "LIVING Trust".  I am the current Living "Trustee", and upon my passing my Very Close Dear Friend & Kindred Spirit: Mr. Kevin J. O'Toole of St. Louis, Missouri; has agreed and will serve as the "Trustee" of the "LIVING Trust".  More about this later...
• Coming Soon: MISSION STATEMENT for the Michael W. Connett  "LIVING Trust".  Elements already committed to...
• NAMES Project Foundation/AIDS Memorial Quilt
• Establishing local NAMES Project chapter on the SouthBank of "Issue3Land" (Greater Cincinnati/Tri-State/OKI Regional Emphasis).
• Dayton, Ky. Sesquicentennial Millenium Monument as addition/extension to the SouthBank Development Project and establishment of a Regional Tourist Attraction that will bolster the Citys Economic Development and was the only "gift" to my Hometown on their 150th Anniversary that I could come up with.  Certainly, no disrespect was intended to the Veterans Memorial!  As a matter of fact, my idea was to bring it inside, out of the elements, in a central place of honor/focal point in this new monument to clebrate Daytons 150 Years and commemorate their leap into the New Millennium!
• P.A.W.S. (Pets Are Wonderful Support) Chapter/Services for AIDS Clients in Northern Kentucky.
• Teach Tolerance
• Respect Diversity/Human Rights
• Disabilities Coalition of No. Ky./Inclusion 2000
• I've launced my at-home, freelance Marketing, Advertising & Promotions Service with my first three clients!  "Marketing Madness" is a Service dedicated to Small Business and Community Based Charitable Organizations.

"The Michael W. Connett - LIVING Trust"

Mission Statement

To use the rest of my life the best I can so that the people and places through which my journey leads me will remain a little bit better for me having passed their way.

• The most recent update from the Covington Housing Dept./Authority is that they anticipate being able to UNFREEZE the Section 8 Applications by JULY!!!

Greetings!

In the article "2002 for beginners - Start the New Year with 8 Resolutions You Can Make and Keep", Timothy Murphy advises:

"#8 - FREE YOUR HEART, FEED YOUR SOUL: Not to get all Oprah on you, but if you're going into 2002 with old resentments - against an ex, family or fallen-out friend - either patch things up or let the anger go.  According to Everett Worthington, a psychologist who studies the health effects of forgiveness, "by giving an unwarranted gift to someone who doesn't deserve it, we find paradoxically that it is we ourselves who are freed from that bondage."  That can mean lower levels of stress, depression, blood pressure - all coups for HIVers.

So that leaves just you and the universe.  How do you talk to each other?  Whether it's through an organized house of worship, some form of meditation or prayer, volunteering your time to others or even just a conscious gratitude that every day is a gift, reaching out to something bigger than yourself may greatly enhance all those pills, powders, and protein shakes.  (Studies correlate more prayer with more CD4 cells - honest!)  And keep in mind these words from HIVer Mark V.: Any experience  - be it sex, nature, art or hilarity - can be spiritual if you are present for it."."  From the January issue of POZ

This struck me because I consider Oprah one of my mentors and try to practice forgiveness as she once defined it: "Forgiveness is giving up the Hope that the past could be different".  It also struck me because over the last ten years, I have come to learn that by giving an unwarranted gift to those who don't deserve it, it is I who is freed from that bondage of anger.

I had read this article weeks ago and set it aside in my commentary file.  I was reminded of it as I watched Tom Hanks' stunning performance in "Philadelphia" again last night.  I was watching for two reasons - to remind myself of how it still really is out there, and to  write down this passage:

The Precedent: "The Federal Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 as a reference for this Supreme Court decision: "Subsequent decisions have held that AIDS is protected as a handicap under law not only because of the physical limitations it imposes, but because the prejudice surrounding AIDS exacts a social death which precedes the actual physical one.

This is the essence of discrimination - formulating opinions about others not based on their individual merits but rather on their membership in a group with assumed characteristics."

In many ways, I consider that I died and have been a dead man walking since October 3, 1991.  Most assuredly since October 10th, when Perkins learned my satus and "constructively discharged" me.  Since then, I have tried my best to journey on with dignity, honesty and that conscious gratitude that every day is a gift, reaching out to something bigger than myself.  It's been a very long and hard road to tow, but 2002 begins a new Odyssey: Toward a Hate Free Millennium.  I will strive to put the past in its place with forgiveness, shake of the shroud of societal death and Believe that I can run on.... 

My mission is to continue reaching out to something bigger than myself so that I may enhance all those pills, powders, and protein shakes; to live to tell as long as I am able and to share my experiences with any one who may benefit from what I've learned.

Best Regards!

Michael

"What the public really loathes in homosexuality

is not the thing itself but having to think about it"

E. M. Forster

This is equally, if not more, true in regards to the current status of HIV/AIDS in America.  I am speaking as one who has been a participant in and experienced the full history of the disease.  I also speak as a pre-Stonewall baby boomer (born 1955) that has experienced the whole gamut of anti-gay sentiments; from discrimination, verbal assaults, harassment and a gay-bashing to discrimination and familial indifference and abandonment.  One of my mentors, Oprah Winfrey, espouses that "Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past can be different".  A concept that I've tried to embrace as a way of healing my anger and self. However, I find that I can not embrace "Forgive and Forget" and I refuse to yield to the outside forces that expect it of me.  Likewise, I refuse to abandon my mission to keep reminding us of these past mistakes in order to keep them from being repeated in the future.

Eleanor Roosevelt is attributed to saying:

  You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every
     experience in which you really stop to look fear in the
     face...The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not
     daring to come to grips with it...You must make yourself
     succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you
     cannot do."

and

"Matt was 18 when he came out to me, over the phone...  And my reply was, Oh what took you so long to tell me?  And there was this pause on the other end and he said, Oh well, how did you know before I knew? and my reply to that was, Oh well, they tell me it is a mom thing.

Thank God I questioned, because it gave me time, about 10 years, to educate myself about what his life could be like should he be Gay.  At that period of time there was not much positive literature...  I knew that should he be gay his potential for becoming a victim would grow expediently.  I educated myself as much as I could...  So, I was preparing myself for Matt to come out to me and was not surprised when he did but was surprised it took so long for him to come out to himself...

Make A Difference, Be Involved!

I'm glad for PFLAG, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, a gift from God to the community, a counseling group, a support group, a wonderful collection of people with warm, loving arms for parents who are trying to understand their children, for children who no longer have the loving arms of their parents..."

 

"...Both families have been touched by the same devastating disease - AIDS.  The families and churches have handled it very differently.  The prejudice which has torn Mike's family in two has been based on his sexual orientation and not his soul or heart.  Mike is just as valuable to God as Susan was but the people to which God entrusted their lives have treated them very differently..."

Greetings!

Boycotts, Buycotts, Economic Terrorists, OH MY!  What's a body to do?  First, lets look at last weeks developments and comments that were in the news - some of my favorites:

• Valentines in The Post Opinion/Letters section of 02/14:  Ed Ritchey of Amelia writes, 

"I completely agree with Mayor Charlie Luken that there is economic terrorism going on in the community.  Mayor Luken and I, however, disagree about who the real economic terrorists are.

 

I have been trying to keep up with how City Council spent hundreds of millions of hard-earned Cincinnati tax dollars for the past 13 years.

 

I remember when City Council lent $6 million of federal Community Development Block Grants to help the Hyatt Corp. build the Hyatt Regency downtown.  When time came for the Hyatt to repay the money, they told the city they could not afford to pay back the money, and City Council let them get away with it.  City Council drove Pogue's out of downtown and tried for years to develop that lot right off Fountain Square.  City Council after spending tens of millions to develop  the Pogue's site finally built Lazarus and Tiffany Diamond Company a brand new $27 million building at Cincinnati taxpayers' expense.

 

City Council ripped the Milner Hotel away from hundreds of individuals and families who used it every year at times when they had no other place to go.  City Council improved the vacant Milner lot and then gave it to former Mayor Arn Bortz so he could develop luxury housing.

 

The Aronoff Center got $40 million in Cincinnati's hard earned tax dollars, yet few working people can afford to attend the performances.

 

Let us not forget Saks.  They got millions to come to Cincinnati, and then got a whopping $6 million just to stay downtown.

 

The list goes on and on.  I am sure you will be able to add to the shame list yourself.  The real panhandlers are not in the streets of Cincinnati, but line up outside of City Council offices.  Let us not even talk about the Bengals' stadium or the new ballpark, it is just too painful to even think about.

 

If 10% of the tax dollars City Council has each year were used to support the community, we would not have 25,000 white and black people who are going homeless and begging in the streets for services every year.  Homeless Cincinnati children black and white would have safe places to live and play because there would be enough safe affordable housing in Cincinnati.  Yes, and it would be also safe for white and black people to come downtown again.

 

You tell me who the real economic terrorists are in this city."

 

• Fellow South Banker Jack Combs of Covington observes:

"Let's get this right.

1. Give money to businesses that are failing (Saks).
2. Tear down and drive out all business with less than 100 employees.
3. Create lots of parking places for companies that are closed, and charge $5 to park for 20 minutes.
4. At all costs, do not admit any wrong doing!

Welcome to Cincinnati, U.S.A."

• In that days Local News section:  "The Rev. James W. Jones, the Coalition for a Just Cincinnati's chairman, said Mayor Charlie Luken is intentionally distorting its demands for political gain, particularly a call for amnesty for (certain) people arrested during last spring's riots...

... But Rev. Jones countered that that initial demand for amnesty only involved people arrested for violating a citywide curfew called after three days of riots last April.  Coalition leaders complained (and rightly so!) that police unfairly enforced the restrictions in mostly black neighborhoods (not to mention the downtown areas around the gay bars!), noting some bars and restaurants in Mount Adams and other mostly white (and straight!) neighborhoods remained open."

 

• And the BEST letter (in Sundays Enquirer), from Sue Ruebusch - a very astute Northside resident: "Everyone should join in boycott of City:

I am appalled at the way Mayor Luken has handled the racial/social issues of the city.  I have lost all respect for Luken (Luke-warm!)when he used the reference of terrorism towards the boycott called against the city.

 

I cannot imagine anyone with any common sense (!?!?) using  such a horrific experience that the U. S. has suffered toward such a just decision of a city boycott.

 

I hope that until the city treats everyone equally, all entertainers, conventions and visitors join the boycott and stay away from Cincinnati."

The Kentucky Fairness Alliance Education Fund is a statewide, non-partisan network of people and organizations dedicated to:

Our Mission and Our Principles

• The Kentucky Fairness Alliance seeks to advance equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people through leadership development, public education, and by encouraging participation in the democratic process.
• We work in Kentucky’s secondary cities and rural areas to develop leaders and local chapters that plan and implement strategies for change in their own communities, making us an organization that is building a fair Kentucky from the ground up.

In implementing this mission, KFA adheres to the following principles:

• The politics of inclusion -- We believe that it is impossible to achieve equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in a world that is racist, sexist, and classist. This means that while our primary focus is on issues of sexual orientation and gender identity, we have equal concern for oppression faced by all disenfranchised people.
• Creating systemic change-- We believe that our work must focus on building a broad base of support for issues of social justice that includes, but is not limited to, issues important to our community. This means that long-term change is of greater significance than any single issue, campaign, or candidate, and our educational and political efforts will reflect this priority.
• Respect for all people -- We will treat all members of our community with the same dignity and respect that we demand from the non-gay community.
• A movement of people -- Our strength comes from the members we represent and the alliances we build with other progressive groups, individuals, and organizations. We will approach our work by representing the interest of our members and will not engage in back room politics or power brokering that compromises these principles.

 

Until then,

Best Regards,

Michael

---

Resigning Stonewallers need Article XII/Issue 3 history refresher

In the event you missed Sundays Enquirer article, "Four leave gay PAC as boycott rift turns 'ugly'" here's a re-cap of the points I found most interesting as well as some editorial comments to them:

"Three members of the Greater Cincinnati Stonewall Political Action Committee have resigned over the gay-rights group's decision to support those boycotting the city.  A fourth member said she will quit this week.

The four resigning board members - Freeman Durham, Lauren Koon, Doreen Quinn and Nancy Minson - make up a majority of the committee.  They say Stonewall's position on the boycott could threaten the group's primary objective - to remove Article XII from the city's charter.

Approved as Issue 3 by 68% of the city's voters in 1993, Article XII makes Cincinnati the only city in the country to prohibit its City Council from passing gay rights legislation. 

"To repeal Article XII, we need a broad coalition," Mr. Durham said.  "We need the African-American community.  We need the business community.  We need soccer moms.  My concern is the boycott issue may alienate more people than it makes us friends, and could make the repeal of Article XII more difficult."

On Monday, Stonewall co-chairs Heidi Bruins and Roy G. Ford joined with other gay rights advocates in a show of "solidarity"  with The Coalition for a Just Cincinnati, a key boycott group...

...Speaking on the steps of the (soon to be re-named for CASH) Albert B. Sabin Cincinnati Convention Center, the Stonewall members also repeated their call for a "convention and tourism ban" in Cincinnati - though a complete boycott of downtown businesses (of course not, thats where all the major GLBT entertainment venues are!).

But Mr. Durham said he believes that some Stonewall leaders "misrepresented" the group's historical position on boycotts.  He said Stonewall never explicitly advocated a ban on conventions - though it did target convention groups in an informational campaign...

..."For a boycott to be successful, it has to be very focused, and it has to have a beginning, a middle and an end." Ms. Quinn said.  "And it has to be well thought out.  I don't think we've done any of that."  (Gee, it's been almost 10 years now since the city's terroristic move against the GLBT Community, what the hell have you been waiting for??)...

...The resigning members say the new board was more radical and intent on joining the boycott movement.  "They seemed to have a different approach to things and a different historical background.  The people who are currently involved in the Stonewall Human Rights Organization, as far as I know, were not involved in the 'No on Issue 3' campaign," said Ms. Minson, who was campaign manager in 1993.  (A campaign that failed miserably due to the GLBT communities arrogant naiveté that it wouldn't happen with all the allies they thought they had on City Council and its failure to motivate its own voters to go to the polls).

"New members of the board wanted to be more broadly for civil rights, and not just (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) issues."  Ms. Bruins says that in order to repeal Article XII, gay rights groups have to work with like-minded civil rights organizations.

"There is a perception, at least, that the African-American community came out and voted strongly for Issue 3.  And since then, Stonewall has made no attempt to build bridges to the African-American community," she said.  (Although that perception has extremely high validity given the 'Equal Rights Not Special Rights" campaigns  focus on the Black vote, it is time that the needed broad coalition comes together under the banner that "NO ONE IS FREE, UNTIL WE ALL ARE FREE!)

Responded Mr. Durham: "The NAACP has not endorsed the boycott.  The Urban League has not endorsed the boycott.  And I don't think you would question their commitment to ending racism."  (Maybe not, but  perhaps one should consider that their decision to not support it may be fueled more by their fears of what they may lose from The City, its Administrators, Council Members, Business Leaders, etc. in terms of funding, support, popularity and favoritism.  After all; it seems to me, that was the driving force of the Black Baptist Ministerial Association and the Equal Rights Not Special Rights appeal to the African-American community to vote for Issue 3 in the first place: If you don't pass this, it will eventually serve to erode all the civil rights gains the African-American community has managed to achieve since Martin Luther King, Jrs assassination.)

From my personal archives of newspaper clippings, lets revisit the GLBT Communities historical position on Issue 3 and the boycott back in 1994:

• From the May 27, 1994 GAYBEAT Special Issue on The Radical Right Burress is Running Scared  The issue 3 honcho has budgeted $400 grand to fight for Issue 3 up to the Supreme Court - but he wonders if it's all going to be wasted.  Meanwhile, he says again he's not a bigot;...  Page 4

And on page 4 was the text of a position paper by Cincinnati anti-Gay activist and "Equal Rights Not Special Rights" campaign chairman Phil "Hey Carl, Buddy, got some secret soft campaign money you can spare" Burress. 

   

Confidential Opinion Paper

Statement of Purpose

This opinion paper deals with petition initiatives to change city charters or state constitutions or repeal special rights legislation for homosexuals.

 

Rationale

When studying the homosexual agenda and their plan of attack, their entire plan can not be successful unless they win elected positions in order to pass legislation.  Their ultimate victory, should that happen, will occur at the United States Supreme Court.

Whether through Human Rights Ordinances or domestic partnership laws, in order for homosexuals to fulfill their agenda, they must win city, county, state and federal elected positions.

This opinion is based on what we have learned in Cincinnati, Ohio at the grass roots level.  We feel very strongly about this issue and wish to share what we have learned with those who choose to oppose the homosexual agenda through initiative drives or other options.

 

Statement of Facts

• For the first time in our history, in 1991 the Cincinnati City Council was taken over by homosexual-endorsed members.
• In 1992 Cincinnati became the 73rd locale to pass a Human Rights Ordinance.  We conferred with many across the country and gleaned valuable information about the problem.
• By 1993 election time, there was only one pro-family city council member and eight pro-homosexual city council members, comprising the total of nine council seats.  If we look at the bottom line and ask why we were in this position, the facts are we lost our city council to the homosexuals.  The local homosexual group, Stonewall Cincinnati, admitted it took them 11 years to take over city council.  We acknowledge the lefts' take-over of the City of Cincinnati promoted by a left-leaning 40% Black vote that has enhanced the homosexuals' plan.
• In 1993 we placed an initiative on the ballot to change our city charter.  Since we believe that the bottom line problem was we lost our city council to pro-homosexual candidates, we placed the initiative on the ballot at the same time city council was being elected.  Our goal was to make the homosexual agenda and special rights laws for homosexuals the issue in the election.
• A key ingredient to victory is winning the Black vote.  Our spokesperson was the President of the Black Baptist Ministerial Association.  Even with a Black spokesperson, the Black vote was split evenly which was our goal.
• We won the 1993 election by a 62% - 38% margin in favor of changing our city charter to prohibit passage of laws based on sexual orientation.
• We spent $505,000 on the campaign.  (That sure was a lot of Chiquita Bananas, UDF Ice Cream and Thriftway...)
• Unknowingly, at the same time we won our ballot initiative, it appears we elected Cincinnati's first lesbian mayor!
• D. James Kennedy has produced a show on our campaign which started airing nationally on March 13, 1994.

Lessons Learned

For us, winning the ballot initiative was not as important as winning back city council with pro-family candidates.  Our thoughts were, even if we lost the ballot initiative, we win the war if we won back city council.  If we could win back city council, our first order of business would have been to repeal the Human Rights Ordinance........

 

And from another article in the same issue:

 

The Race Card

Burress' analysis of the Issue 3 campaign details its frank emphasis on dividing Cincinnati's Black community, which he calls "left-leaning."

By naming the Rev. K.Z. Smith, president of the Black Baptist Ministerial Association, as Issue 3 spokesperson, Burress says, "the Black vote was split evenly which was our goal."  He called the racially-divisive tactic "a key ingredient to victory."

In the next installments:

From NOUVEAU - May 1994  Negotiations continue as Issue 3 boycott holds "...But Barry Grossheim feels "it could be nearer to twenty million."  Grossheim is co-chair of the other major group said to represent the city's gay and lesbian community, Stonewall Cincinnati."

From NOUVEAU - April 1994 Stonewall rebellion still a call to arms  Michael Blankenship opines "For those of us still investing in City Hall, or in Washington, one lesson of Issue 3 should be most clear: we can have all the friends in the political heirarchy we like, but it still means nothing when dealing with a bigoted and ignorant  (not to mention, easily duped and herded!) public.

“Copyright": "The Michael W. Connett - ‘LIVING’ Trust”
Page Last Up-dated: 01/13/10 .